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Opening a Pandora Box, Am I? Seems like but isn’t it a widely known, acknowledged fact? It feels as if every human being is designed to ‘expect’ – exceptions excluded ofcourse - Its as if we are designed as business bodies – “Give and Take” is the deal always! As long as these two are balanced it’s a profitable venture but the moment one takes precedence or overtakes the other, there brews trouble!
The one thing that rules a human is ‘expectation’ – this forms the base of any two human being’s interaction. Be itparent:child, teachers:children, neighbour:neighbour, individual:society, individual:relatives, individual:organization, husband:wife, lover:lover, friend:friend (yeah!)…
Right from the word ‘go’ there is expectation. Does an infant have expectation too? Guess ‘yes’ or might be they begin their journey learning “how to expect”?!? Like within a few days they know “Crying is the key to get parents to meet all their expectations”!
Elders’ expectation “follow us blindly, we know everything”;Childrens’ say “just allow us to live on our own terms, no questions and constraints pls!”;
Politicians’ (leaders after all) from public “don’t dare question us, we do what we feel is right! (for who?!?); Public’s from Govt “Ensure everything is perfect – nay don’t expect us to change much –rather u find innovative ways!”;
Organization from employees “Karm kare jao, phal ki ichha math rakho : Just keep doing things, don’t expect any fruits!” – isn’t that simple?;Employee from Organization “When is the next hike and how much!-my performance… let it be”;
Relationship that’s supposedly to be based on “pure love”: marriage – ofcourse is the biggest gamble but also one that’s not devoid of expectations! Expectations, which in most cases lead to compromises, therefore a very superficial life not really knowing if one is happy doing what they are doing…
So it continues through every relationship that human kind has established… Giving nothing but Trouble / Heartburn to a human – Orphanages, Old Age Home, Divorce, Murder, Theft and this list is long… Aren’t these a direct/indirect outcome of ‘a kind of expectation”?
Am I being cynical? Might be… So, why not take a minute and think of ‘one relationship’ that is void of any expectations? One thing that I haven’t discussed – “Friendship” – Is it really the case??? Don’t we have expectations from friends? Might be I should leave this as a Question, which am sure will ring bells!
So, why is it we “expect”? Why do we seek pain through our expectations? Is it like “oxygen” & “water” for life? Can we take a minute and introspect if it’s really required? what purpose is it serving? Are we happy with expectations? Is it giving us & the other person involved a contended life?? Or are we not bothered about the other person’s happiness – who cares ha? – Questions which needs some pondering… might be here is the key to happiness!
Let’s just follow our heart and “do what we want to”; “what gives us happiness” – Doing things for other’s sake is not worth it! Happiness is contagious; so we really needn’t try hard! At the same time let’s try and work on our “Expectations” – Why not? Isn’t a small price to pay for our happiness???
As Fritz Perls says “I am not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine”